Stop Saying You Understand

Today I embarked on a new experience called ETEAM. I've always heard about it but have never been able to participate in it. I've loved every second of it so far. Getting to know different people from different places and different walks of life is something I thrive for. Every kid has a different story and I've caught my self numerous time saying the phrase, "I understand." When really, I have no clue at all!

Tonight especially I came in contact with a situation with a person that I care deeply for. This person is such an example of beauty at it's finest but unfortunately this person has been dealt some very sad cards. She's handled everything with poise and grace but tonight in my effort to comfort her I found myself saying once again, "I understand." ( Inside my head I'm thinking, "What the crap Georgia!?!? You have no idea what this person is going through!")

See I find that in the flaw in many Christians today when we try to comfort others. When a love one dies, someone loses a job, or is just suffering heart break, our initial reaction is to say " I understand" or " I completely know where you're coming from," when we've never ever ever been in that same situation. We use empathy when sympathy might be the more appropriate emotion to show people you care for them and care about what their going through. Instead of trying to imply that you have been through the same life experience you just give a hug, listen, sit there in silence, and maybe even cry with them. This can be alot more effective than saying anything at all. 

I'm not saying you shouldn't share life experiences but keep in mind that that person is hurting, and they just want to vent for the most part. However, in every relationship I've been in I've realized  that the more you invest in others life the more they will invest in yours. That's very very important to remember.